This Momentous Victory Requires Confetti and Fireworks, Preferably Not at the Same Time, Because I Don’t Advocate Starting Fires

We got the internet back. It only required turning off the entire phone connection to the house for exactly a minute, calling Verizon a million times, getting a new router overnighted to the house, and crawling around on the floor plugging it all in.

But it was worth.

My oh my, was it worth it. I now have an incredible amount of knowledge at my fingertips, and I’m mad with the power. My eyes are wide, I’m smiling in a slightly terrifying manner, and I’m going to look up every single thing I was curious about in the past four days, but couldn’t find the answer. It’s going to be awesome.

Okay, not all of that is true. I lack the look of manic joy–I’m wearing glasses and pajamas and am curled up in bed with Max and Pushkin–but I actually am checking topics off a list I wrote down in a notebook and wondering why on Saturday I desperately needed to know about the evolution of horses and the etymology of the word “quite.”

Part of me can’t imagine life without the internet. How on earth am I supposed to get all the answers I crave? Am I seriously expected to travel three miles to the library every time I feel slightly curious about a topic? Don’t people understand that knowing Bill Clinton’s hometown is crucial to my everyday survival?

Humor aside, the internet really is what you make of it. It’s a wonderful resource for knowledge and a tantalizing form of brain-rot. I am addicted, sure, but I am very careful to use the internet responsibly. And I’m not just talking basic safety here. I keep time spent on social networking sites as low as possible.

When I go on Facebook, it’s to work out logistics or send someone a message. I don’t spend time stalking people. To me, that’s boring. Occasionally, I’ll chat with someone if I miss them and we haven’t spoken in a while.

I use the queue on tumblr to minimize my time spent on the site. I don’t allow myself to collect more images that would post more than four days past the current date, and I only use the site in the evenings or after I’ve completed a large task.

The people I love on Twitter get their tweets sent to my phone via SMS, and I only look at my full feed when I need something specific.

But when it comes to being curious, I do not hold back. I make a point of looking up everything I don’t know, whether it be a word, a person, an event, or a concept. I want to be as informed as possible. Besides, how can you resist when the world is so endlessly fascinating and surprising? And in a weird way, looking up “Fonzie” manages to explain a bunch of pop culture references I didn’t understand and is a really interesting reflection of America at the time. And don’t get me started on how useful researching Europe’s royal families has been! (I don’t understand why Disney makes their princesses into thin, white girls who get saved by princes. Real royalty is a million times more amazing and the girls kick butt.)

I use the internet become smarter, and while I may spend a lot of time on it, I assure you that only a very, very small percentage is me goofing off or procrastinating. Scouts’ honor.

Now, I just need to keep myself in line so that I don’t spend all night clicking away. Sleep is good, I’ve heard it said, particularly when it is done during normal hours, and I should probably test that theory.

In other news, Maxwell and I are playing that game where I try to use his body to warm up my feet and he keeps inching away from me. Neither of us are winning, but I’m still refusing to wear socks to bed. To be fair, while was showering he just walked into the bathroom, threw up, and left, so we can consider this “getting even.”

In other, other news, I think a pipe is leaking somewhere in my bathroom. This is one thing I do not like about old homes. The charm, good craftsmanship, and the attention to architectural detail is wonderful, but the plumbing always seems to be another matter entirely. I hope our trusty plumber isn’t busy!

As always, you can also find me on tumblr at, if, you know, you’re into that kind of thing.