Glasses-One, Ella-Zero

Remember that time when I added a funny “scientific” bio to my About Ella page? And remember that time I said that the more I refuse to wear glasses, the worse my eyesight is going to get?

Well, it’s true, and I don’t need an official eye exam to tell me that my eyesight has been getting much worse.

I have to make the print bigger when I’m on the computer, and I have trouble reading without everything going out of focus. Sometimes, I just close my right eye and let the left one do all the work. I may lose all perception of depth, but I can actually see more clearly, even if it comes at the risk of hurting my eyes further. Then, there’s the issue of navigating and wondering what exactly a sign says until I’m too close to make the turn.

And it’s slightly petrifying not to be able to see the world as clearly as I’d like. I want to know that I’m not missing any details, that I’ll be able to notice all of the veins in a leaf or slight discoloration on my white bookshelves, not to mention simple text. I like being able to see the fibers on a sheet of paper and the way that the ink always manages to slightly bleed. I like being able to read the names of the books in my room while I’m lying on my bed, trying to fall asleep. And I’m loosing all of that, not dramatically thank God, but I’m certainly at the point where I really can’t get on without wearing my glasses.

I’d love to kick and scream and act the way that a tired toddler would over my frustration. “This isn’t fair!” I’d yell, “Can’t you see that glasses make me look terrible and that they get smudged so easily? I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!” But that would be ridiculous and too over the top, even for me.

So I’ll just suck it up and wear the darn things. There are far, far worse things in life to happen, and it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out how to stop sending them flying off of my face at least once a day.

As always, you can also find me on tumblr at http://emleng93.tumblr.com/, if, you know, you’re into that kind of thing.

Ella and the Fascinating Case of the Missing Glasses

I lost my glasses somewhere between last night and this morning. I had placed them carefully on the end table next to the sofa on the porch where I was sleeping, but when I woke up they were gone. My aunt and uncle had left in the morning, taking with them some bags that had rest against the table, and I thought that perhaps they had fallen into one of them and travelled south with them in their gold colored truck. But they hadn’t when we called in the evening.

I don’t wear my glasses much–I tend to accidently knock them off and send them tumbling to the ground, I hate how easily they smudge, and I hate having my peripheral
vision impaired==but my right eye does an abysmal job of seeing, and I usually end up wearing them in the evening and at night, especially if I’m reading or working on the computer. I have another pair at home with the same prescription, so in theory it wouldn’t be the end of the world if they never showed up, but it is also nice to be able to see things after seven o’clock in the evening.

My grandmother and I checked the whole porch twice, and I crawled around on the carpet with my cheek pressed to the floor to look under all the furniture to no avail. I had begun to give up hope that they would appear and began to believe that they were in some bizarre location that we would laugh about when someone found them years later.

But a few minutes ago, I found them nestled in the sheets I had used to turn the sofa into a bed. They had somehow gotten stuck in them and it was only when I went to make up my real bed that they appeared.

It got me thinking about lost objects and the funny way that things disappear only to end up in a place you wouldn’t expect them, the panic that settles sharply in your chest during the initial frantic search, the dull weight of the resignation that you’ll just have to cope without the item, and then the jolt of excitement, happiness, and energy when it finally turns up. “I found you!” you want to scream, “You are mine once again!” If I was more awake, I’d come up with some extended metaphor for how losing my glasses is similar to life, but right now, I’m just enjoying the wave of good emotions and being able to see.