Ella the Outdoors Wimp

Tomorrow I have to venture outdoors, and while I often am opposed to non-level surfaces and air that is below or above 70-77 degrees, tomorrow is going to be especially bad. Below freezing weather all day is not my idea of a good time. I also am going to be biking, which will make it hard to wear bulkier clothes, even though it’s 12 degrees. I’m already working on my self-entitled and ridiculous pout.

In other news, I’ve been testing the limits of how many times I can watch this video of a labrador chasing deer through a London park. Fenton really reminds me of Lee and Zach’s dog, Louis, an Australian sheepdog, known mainly for herding anything that moved and pulling down the occasional person’s pants.

And as always, you can also find me on tumblr at http://emleng93.tumblr.com/, if, you know, you’re into that kind of thing.

In Which Nine-Year-Old Ella Officiates a Gay Wedding for Dogs

This evening, Pippa reminded me of a funny story from our childhood in which Lee, Pippa, and I held a gay wedding for two stuffed dogs.

On the day after I threw Pippa’s American Girl Doll out of the window (we’re all sure that I did it for a reason–but no one can recall what it was) Pippa and Lee decided that it was high time we have another wedding. I called dibs on being the priest and went to go retrieve a copy of The Book of Common Prayer while Pippa and Lee decided who was getting married.

Pippa wanted her stuffed Huskie named–wait for it–Huskie to marry another dog, and Lee wanted the same thing for her golden retriever named Sammy. However, Sammy and Huskie were both boys. A lot of arguing ensued between the two over who was going to have to select a different dog until it was decided that gender didn’t matter, and the two boys were going to marry each other. Sammy wore a veil and Huskie had a hat, all of the stuffed animals and dolls were trotted out in their very best clothes for the event, and we roped my dad into playing the music.

After a brief evacuation from the backyard, where the ceremony was being held, after Lee supposedly spotted a wasp, my dad played the wedding march, and I read the wedding ceremony. We all prayed, I stumbled over the readings, Sammy and Huskie were pronounced husband and husband, and we all boogied back down the aisle while my dad played I’m a Believer by Smash Mouth on the guitar. The animals and dolls were then dumped on the couch while we ate cubes of frozen apple juice in front of the air conditioning vent in the dining room (a regular activity if you live in humid D.C. during the summer).

I’m very proud that at such a young age, the three of us held a gay marriage without even questioning if gay marriage was wrong. Sadly, Sammy later got married to an oversized ferret of undetermined sex, thus nullifying his original marriage. But it still says a lot about our upbringing that we married Huskie and Sammy. I’m very thankful for parents, teachers, and other adults in our lives who encouraged us to be so open-minded.

(It should also be noted that at five, Pippa and Lee also seemed to have no problem with polygamy as they both got married to Joseph in one large ceremony that Zach and I officiated. Zach and Lee’s mom was highly amused during the proceedings, and we got tricked into eating a large amount of vegetables when she told us that adults only eat celery and carrots at wedding receptions.)

Today in obvious news, I bring this story straight from the dinner table. Apparently, even when you’re speaking philosophically, sixteen-year-olds don’t like it when you point out to them that they could die at anytime and that just because their birthday is eleven days away, it doesn’t mean that they’re going to make it. It may get you kicked later. The kicking will also hurt.

And as always, you can also find me on tumblr at http://emleng93.tumblr.com/, if, you know, you’re into that kind of thing.

The Funny College Dog Lady

Yesterday on our way out of the house to go bike riding, we stopped to speak to the neighbors. After chatting for a little while about the colleges we were going to, or in my case not, Lily asked to we could pet Rosie, their adorable little dog. Rosie scooted back under the car away from us, so jokingly, Lily said “Well we don’t want to see you after all!”

Her owner laughed and responded, “That’s a William’s girl for you! Now, the Yalie would say, ‘Let me think about it. I think you should get out from under the car’ and the English girl would say, ‘Let’s meet at the pub!'”

We said goodbye, and as soon as we were in the car with all the doors closed we broke down laughing.

I love old people.