Glasses-One, Ella-Zero

Remember that time when I added a funny “scientific” bio to my About Ella page? And remember that time I said that the more I refuse to wear glasses, the worse my eyesight is going to get?

Well, it’s true, and I don’t need an official eye exam to tell me that my eyesight has been getting much worse.

I have to make the print bigger when I’m on the computer, and I have trouble reading without everything going out of focus. Sometimes, I just close my right eye and let the left one do all the work. I may lose all perception of depth, but I can actually see more clearly, even if it comes at the risk of hurting my eyes further. Then, there’s the issue of navigating and wondering what exactly a sign says until I’m too close to make the turn.

And it’s slightly petrifying not to be able to see the world as clearly as I’d like. I want to know that I’m not missing any details, that I’ll be able to notice all of the veins in a leaf or slight discoloration on my white bookshelves, not to mention simple text. I like being able to see the fibers on a sheet of paper and the way that the ink always manages to slightly bleed. I like being able to read the names of the books in my room while I’m lying on my bed, trying to fall asleep. And I’m loosing all of that, not dramatically thank God, but I’m certainly at the point where I really can’t get on without wearing my glasses.

I’d love to kick and scream and act the way that a tired toddler would over my frustration. “This isn’t fair!” I’d yell, “Can’t you see that glasses make me look terrible and that they get smudged so easily? I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!” But that would be ridiculous and too over the top, even for me.

So I’ll just suck it up and wear the darn things. There are far, far worse things in life to happen, and it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out how to stop sending them flying off of my face at least once a day.

As always, you can also find me on tumblr at http://emleng93.tumblr.com/, if, you know, you’re into that kind of thing.