Ella and the Slippery Mattress

My bed* at the beach does not have the world’s best mattress. It’s old enough that my dad can’t remember when it was new. Unlike most ancient mattresses, this one hasn’t become lumpy or springy. It’s just solidified into solid sedimentary rock. I’m going to do a very vigorous jig when it gets replaced.

But until that happy day, my mom and I have been coming up with methods of making it softer. Yesterday, when I moved into the room after two nights on the extremely comfortable** sofa on the porch, we decided to put two sleeping bags on it. It seemed like a great idea–sleeping bags have a cushy layer of down–but we forgot that the outside of them is made of slippery material. The bottom sheet won’t lay flat, and every time I roll over or shift, I slide with the sheet. It’s a very strange feeling, and it’s very hard to relax when it feels like you’re going to fall out of bed because the bottom sheet won’t stay still or even tucked under. The best way I can describe it is that it’s like trying to sleep on top of one of those sacks you use to slid down those garish inflatable slides at school carnivals on the platform right before the slide itself.

It’s too late tonight to really justify remaking the entire bed, and not having a cushion of any sort would probably be just as bad, but fixing this problem is at the top of my to-do list for tomorrow.

*Of course, every other room’s is perfectly comfortable.

**I’m not being sarcastic.

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