Ella and Madeline the Beloved Doll

When I was four, my uncle* gave me a soft doll with yarn hair that I named Madeline. Of course, everything I have from that era is named Madeline, but unlike the other stuffed animals and dolls, this Madeline has stuck around.

My mother would call her my “lovie,” which is her saccharine way of referring to an object that a small child latches onto and sleeps with. Unlike most eighteen-year-olds, I still sleep with mine…and I have a habit of carrying her around with me in the house.

It didn’t occur to me until about ten minutes ago that still holding your doll while watching movies, reading, doing homework, eating, or using the computer, et cetera is odd behavior for someone my age. It’s just something that I’ve always automatically done. I keep her on my bed, and whenever I’m in my room, I pick her up and start carrying her around with me or holding her as I do something. And depending on how much activity the next thing I’m going to do requires, I’ll keep her with me.

It’s not like I ever take her out of the house or keep her with me in situations that would be awkward or inappropriate. I just like having her with me. She feels like happiness and safety, sort of like a more stationary and willing cat. And ultimately, it doesn’t matter how silly it is for someone my age to have, sleep with, or carry around a doll, it makes me content without causing harm, so I’m sticking with it.

I’m curious: Do you still have a “lovie,” and if so what do you do with it?

Here’s a very old picture of Madeline hanging out with Anastasia’s dog. They’re close friends.

In other news, Pippa is currently speaking incredibly loudly on video chat and using one of her crutches as a machine gun. I’d ask, but after sixteen and a half years of living with the girl, I’ve come to realize that I really just don’t want to know.

It’s probably a reference to annoyed she is with the Debussey I’m blasting.

*This is the same uncle that died last year. I am so happy that I told him how much this gift has meant to me before he passed away. Madeline is honestly the best present I have and probably will ever receive.

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