I’ve been feeling really, really impulsive today. Almost scarily so. I find myself on the brink of doing things with horrible consequences that I don’t want to have happen. Maybe I’ve just found a new way to torture myself, but I can’t get on of these impulses out of my head, and it’s so frightening.
I must control myself. I need to become like that really heavy ball of concrete on the edge of the driveway that I can’t move no matter how hard I try. Oh, but I worry I won’t, that I’ll bend and do something so terrible I’ll regret it for the rest of my life, and everyone’s perception of me will be forever altered.