There has been snow on the ground out since Christmas. Naturally, I’ve been thrilled. But it’s starting to melt, and I am certainly not happy about that. Grey, wet, icy slush is not attractive and it creates huge freezing puddles. (In the City, pristine snow turns into slush in a day, and that fact is one of the main reasons why I’m happy that I don’t live there anymore.) Thankfully, I have bright, flowery rain-boots that are perfect for stomping my way through them. But today, I did not wear them. Why, you might ask? Because I am stupid.
You see, I was wearing this beautiful sweater that is somewhere between carmine and maroon, and my pants were dark navy. My white keds looked really nice with them, and the boots would have clashed. So I did what the mirror told me to do and walked out of the front door with my feet clad in canvas.
Now, I didn’t attend school today, which meant that instead of walking a block to therapy, I had to walk over two and a half miles. Without boots. Because I am an idiot. So, I stuck my iPod earbuds (even though I hate wearing them because the fact that I can only hear the noise freaks the BEEGEEBUS out of me and I’m scared of loosing my hearing), hit play, and set off. I made it down the font path without a problem, crossed the street, and immediately had to hop over a puddle. And I tried to be graceful about it. Hey, passing motorist, I’m not doing weird flying leaps down the sidewalk, I’m just taking really big, flying steps like a really awkward ballerina. You know…
And it was going pretty well. I walked through two parks, said hi to some dogs and their owners, nearly walked into a street sign, and tried to remember not to jaywalk until I got to Monster Number One. I mean, this puddle was huge. It spanned three sidewalk squares and I was boxed in by snow banks (as high as my waist) and a fence. So I looked at the Monster, and it looked back at me and said, “Gotcha”. Then, I tried to walk through the drift really quickly. And it mostly worked. There was snow stuck to me, but I brushed it off and plowed ahead.
A block or two later, I met Monster Numbers Two and Three, which I traversed via creative leaps. Monster Number Four required climbing on a park bench. Finally, I crossed Monster Number Five by trying to walk through the shallowest parts so that it would only touch the rubbery side of the shoe. And I managed to get to therapy mostly dry and feeling very self-important for having achieved what I thought to be a stepping-in-puddles-free day.
However, when I was walking down my street on the way home from Tal’s, I got distracted by the skyline, and meandered my way right into a slush puddle. Fun stuff. My shoes are now in the dryer making spectacular clunking noises and scaring the cats.
I think I’ll wear my boots tomorrow.