You know how I wrote about watching the sun rise yesterday? Well, I had serious doubts about whether or not I could make it through the day. Going over 24 hours without sleep usually leads to zombie status, but I plugged along quite cheerfully and energetically without a single energy crash. The last time I pulled an all-nighter to finish a paper, I had dissolved into a giggly mess by noon. But not this time. This time I was a working machine.
I reread my 30+ pages of notes and my lines for my US Government and Constitution competition on Thursday, I read the majority of a long JSTOR article on the purpose of committees, I went through the Constitution to memorize the exact wording of the sections that related to my group’s three questions, and that was just before lunch. After lunch, I wrote seven 300+ word essays for postgraduate applications. I cleaned my room, Cloroxed the living daylights out of my bathroom, and got my backpack all set to go for this morning.
The productivity was great, but there were two things bugging me all day. First, I had the most energy that I had had in months, despite the fact that I hadn’t slept. There were few depressed thoughts, and only one anxiety attack. Sure, the OCD wasn’t exactly under control, and I still couldn’t stay completely focussed on one thing at a time or stop fidgeting (ADHD meds, it’d be nice if you started working better, seeing as I’m on the maximum dosage and all), but I haven’t had this good of a day since forever. It was sunny outside, and things seemed halfway (okay, more like a quarter-way) normal.
The other weird thing was that the day seemed to be lasting forever. I suppose this has to do with the fact that I had been up and moving since four thirty, but every time I’d glance over at a clock, I’d think to myself, How on earth can it be blank o’clock? It has got to be later than that! Also, considering the fact that I have a lot of trouble hauling myself out of bed most days, this behavior was particularly abnormal. When was the last time that I was drinking tea and having a cheerful conversation with my mom at nine in the morning? This summer, probably.
I have come to following conclusions:
1) I have become a robot that gets its ability to go without sleeping from reading Kate Chopin into the late hours of the night.
2) I should give up sleeping in its entirety for the sake of my mental health